Depression Strikes, Again

Ok, so I finally have broadband at home (let me hear you say "YA!"). However, due recent events or lack there of, I have been sinking back into hopelessness. Now, as I understand it - artists work best when depressed - drawing/painting/etc. helps as a kind of therapy. I work just the opposite - I am able to work when I am happy - my confidence is raised enough to tell my brain, "you can do this!"

When things go wrong/don't happen - my brain is bogged down with, "why the hell do I bother - it doesn't even matter how good I am, art is a business, blah, blah, blah."

I am working hard to get the essentials I need to live my life, like a car and driver's license, a studio space (I lost the old one due to cleaning - don't ask) and I'm trying to get on Disability with SSI because this thing called reality keeps reminding me that I cannot hold a steady, regular job to support myself.

Needless to say things have fallen through and I've been playing the waiting game on what's still possible.

I've maybe done two, unfinished sketches and a wash to start my Cousin's baby's b-day present - which is this month. I have lost some of my drawing ability and, as always need to work to get it back. It could take a while. Anybody reading this - I could really use some support, right now. Thanks <3