I Did It

I commented on Michael Zulli's blog! EEEEP! I mean this is someone who I strive to be like in art style. I feel I am not worthy (though I know I am cause in my world, everyone's equal - at least, I hope so). Wish me luck - he has to approve it before it gets published. It's basically commenting on what seemed like his emotional state on how messed up the world is (mostly, political). It's the way he describes how he feels that I can relate to - esp. about animal cruelty on my end.

On another note, sometimes it's as if I'm on another planet when it comes to relating to my artist friends, these days (but only in the field of art). I know I'm good - but nobody has asked me to illustrate for them and all I see for jobs is editing and graphics (as in graphic design). Believe it or not - I care about font. I care about written word - just as much as visuals. I'm sure this is just a rant but lately - I don't know - I get this feeling that Fine Artists are not wanted. That we think we're "special" or something. Again - I'm probably just imagining things and blowing what I've read out of proportion. It is art-related (even though it's a rant).

Depression Strikes, Again

Ok, so I finally have broadband at home (let me hear you say "YA!"). However, due recent events or lack there of, I have been sinking back into hopelessness. Now, as I understand it - artists work best when depressed - drawing/painting/etc. helps as a kind of therapy. I work just the opposite - I am able to work when I am happy - my confidence is raised enough to tell my brain, "you can do this!"

When things go wrong/don't happen - my brain is bogged down with, "why the hell do I bother - it doesn't even matter how good I am, art is a business, blah, blah, blah."

I am working hard to get the essentials I need to live my life, like a car and driver's license, a studio space (I lost the old one due to cleaning - don't ask) and I'm trying to get on Disability with SSI because this thing called reality keeps reminding me that I cannot hold a steady, regular job to support myself.

Needless to say things have fallen through and I've been playing the waiting game on what's still possible.

I've maybe done two, unfinished sketches and a wash to start my Cousin's baby's b-day present - which is this month. I have lost some of my drawing ability and, as always need to work to get it back. It could take a while. Anybody reading this - I could really use some support, right now. Thanks <3